we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
