I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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