She announced her abortion via fbk
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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