That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
