is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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