u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
