why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
