HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
