i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
