that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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