i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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