just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
