Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
