how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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