at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so let's talk penis.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
