I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
