6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Less talking, more tequila
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
