he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
