im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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