I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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