Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
