It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
