Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
