I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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