someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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