I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
