Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
