I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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