I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
