he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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