There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
