Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Tornado booty call.. dedication
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
