How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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