Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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