My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
