in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
