She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Randomize
