im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
