How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
