Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
