Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
