She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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