Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
