What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize