So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
