So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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