just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We were destined to go to rehab together
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
