If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
