none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
