brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
