I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
