Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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