Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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