My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Girls should come with a carfax report
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
