Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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