Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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