I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
