shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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