I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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