Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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